Posts Tagged ‘alcohol’

I went to San Francisco once, once.
I left my fake ID in the back of cab from the airport, this was my first mistake.
My second mistake was putting the accommodation (which is by the way very very hard to find) in my name. I was brought to court in absentia for destruction of private property, [...]

The last wedding of the year approaches. This Friday I shall be in attendance. Freshly shaven, sterilised and ready to be shot into space. All college projects are submitted, and after today all exams will have been taken, all mango chutney bombs carefully and lovingly prepared.
I am looking forward to it. I haven’t been out [...]

Yup, I am sure it wasn’t the seven pints that preceded that last Guinness, or even the tequila that followed it, or the wine that accompanied lunch. It must have been a bad pint. I’m sure of it. That’s why I feel like a pig shat in my head today.
Grease helps. As does Capri Sun. [...]

I am going to give up booze. ‘Ohhhh sure you are‘ comes the response in unison. But it has beaten me. I cannot drink anymore. It actually hurts me. But you love wine, beer is your friend, the jameson on the shelf is twelve years old. But I cant breathe. I wheeze. I cough. My [...]

I was bored and invented a new drink last night.
Shot of whiskey. Juice of two limes. Soda water, ice, and four squirts of urine. It was just an experiment but my mate said It was really tasty.
At times like these even I like to stretch myself.
Anyway I have christened it “A Urinary Tract”.