Meetings. I want to rename them meatings. Quick, there is a meating. The shepherds run past your desk and they grab you by the sleeve,
get in here quick, quick,
‘why why’ I shout as panic takes me,
it’s important, they’ll want your opinion,
but this is a meeting about which I know nothing, with some external monkeys?
We can’t have empty chairs, it will look like we don’t care, grab your notebook. Faster faster.
And so I sit in the meeting. I know nothing, I don’t know what EMT or VBS or TTP or Free JBK’s are, I don’t know 8 of the 10 people in the room. There are 3 empty chairs. We obviously don’t care.
The ‘meat’ are people in a meeting who know nothing, the ‘meat shields’ are the people in the meeting who step in at vital moments and use phrases like ‘I can field this question’, just as the ‘meat’ are about to vomit over their ring bound folders in sheer blind fear.
I am not a meat shield.
on Oct 13th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I refer to meals as “meatenings”. Well, I do now.
on Oct 13th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
excellent. And can we call the time after 6pm meavenings?
on Oct 13th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Mete it is, to do meetings.
on Oct 13th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
You may scoff but because of their importance, a career in professional meeting planning has emerged in recent years but obviously your Russian outfit doesn’t subscribe to this notion of professionalism.
You may or may probably not be aware that in recent times the field of Meeting Facilitation has formalised with an internationally-recognized Certified Professional Facilitator ((CPF) designation through the International Association of Facilitators (IAF).
That said, in my experience IT meetings are generally made up of 95% muppets and 5% Bombay mix.
on Oct 14th, 2009 at 12:50 am
Consider yourself told!
on Oct 14th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Pants Red. This situation sucks donkey balls. Come to the UK and join me in the education where your opinion is occasionally valued and sometimes you even get a raise.. well… until the Tories get in… then we’re fucked.
on Oct 14th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
“I can meadow this conundrum” wankers!
on Oct 15th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Blah and bah to meetings and nom nom to meatings… but even better is the banner.. Lovin’ it