Toe to heel, toe to heel, toe to heel they shuffled, heads bowed, utter concentration, chins almost touching their chests, intently watching the their feet for the slightest of mistakes, the count could just be heard above the lawnmowers and far off screams of the little ones with less important issues to solve.
One, heel, two, toe, three, heel, four, toe, exactly 12 yards, ultimate precision and care now would negate any complaints later on, this has to be fair for all as their would be no appeals and no arbitration, only a stylised wheeling celebration and a drop to the knees, this was going to settle it without any shadow of a doubt.
The eyes of the world would be upon them, the hope of two seperate nations rested on their shoulders, this was the culmination of so many hours of heartache, sweat, commitment, skill, desire and hope, none if it theirs but they would bask in the glory of victory none the less. Now the choices, the all important names that would be the victors or the vanquished, Zico, Falcao, Josimar, Socrates, Careca. Hands on hips, a glance at the official, a deep breath, they were nine years old.
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 10:09 am
“One, heel, two, toe, three, heel, four, toe, exactly 12 yards…” That’ll be her, and there you’ll be in your suit waiting for the registrar to start the match.
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Conan it seems as if this one piece is a metaphor for my whole life….
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Did you play ‘last man back’?
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Indeed we did. ahh last man back, what a concept, they should introduce that professionally.
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Last man back was very hard to enforce. Who was truly ‘the last man back’? Was someone else fractionally more ‘back’ than the self-anointed keeper? I think in this technological age, kids deserve video evidence.
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
yes they could all get their Nokias out and tape the jumpers for goalposts games.
Where are the ladies? Ubuntuc you’re a footballing lass, what is your opinion on the whole last man back debate?
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Jaysus there I was down the local cafe just now with an Iraqi colleague who has decided to dedicate a whole blog to my life story (Red you have stiff competition)….. he has managed to fill approx 8 scrawled pages with my highly highly edited life story (he’s a strict Muslim - my life story becomes quite short it turns out given those boundaries of exposure). Some further questions I will apparently receive by email.
So last man back debate eh….. am i correct in saying that last man back is officially in goal? It was always a controversial rule which resulted in more time spent arguing…. but kids these days with their fancy technological aids could indeed have the required video evidence to settle the aforementioned debate. In reality though kids these days would actually need to leave the confines of their video game dens to actually be in the situation where last man back comes to play (puntastic).
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Provided all players keep their mobiles in their pockets it should be possible to track their movements for the length of the game. Mobile phone companies could develop it as a new service: log in, start the game, 1 beep alert = you’re last man back, 2 beep alert you’re offside, etc
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
No comment. During football matches I get hypnotised by the male physique. All details pertaining to anything other than running really fast, bending over, celebrations, man-hugging and an occasional reveal of a finely-honed torso, go straight over my head.
Having said that, one of the best nights evah was when Arsenal won something or other and the ensuing session.
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Now Coco why did you go and say that?? There will be no talking of Arsenal winning anything today…. ok?
Although sessions i’m fine with
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Ahhhhh… Football. I see. I got that from reading the comments.
I had thought you were an Irish dancer.
on Apr 29th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
I thought the first line was a launchpad for a Christy Moore tribute post.
“Oh round we go, heel to the toe, Daddy long legs said my oh my and we danced to the reel in the flickering light.”
Er, and stuff.
on Nov 13th, 2009 at 11:09 am
They could settle wars with this
If only they will. Imagine the worlds leaders on pills then imagine the morning after
Wars causing disaster don’t talk to me i don’t know ya